When I teach women, I teach them to trust a man by his actions, not his words.
Because you and I know that a guy will say just about anything to get into her sweet little panties. To win her favor. To be liked and admired.
Women mistrust us – and in some ways, they should.
But should you trust women? When should you? When should you not?
Until we prove ourselves trustworthy.
In my online dating program, Deep Online Attraction, I (of course) give you lots of ways to establish trust right there in your profile…
- Talk about your sisters, if you have them, and use their first names.
- Talk about the men you admire and the trustable qualities you admire about them (you win by association.)
- Set up a high bar to qualify women who will write you – say things like “Honesty and integrity are cornerstones of my life, and if you are inclined to write me, please hold the same values in the same high regard.” Or “Only honest, open, considerate and kind women welcome. I value women who are kind to all and snooty to none.”
Again – you win by association with those values – and you win because you are taking the “prize” position and creating qualifiers and filters.
Now here’s the thing…
Should you trust women?
I hear men – usually the most frustrated men – calling women catty, b*tches, BBD girls (bigger, better, deal) etc…
They say girls only go online for a free dinner, 5 nights a week (it happens).
They say girls don’t know themselves, that they are flakes, that they are entitled, that they are rude etc…
And it happens with guys too.
And some girls.
This is important – because if you start cultivating those negative opinions about SOME women, they will start to color your attitude toward ALL women.
And you will destroy anything you spark with the really quality women of the world.
We live in a culture of distraction and overwhelm.
If I thought about all the crap on E! and Bravo! And 100 other channels, then I would never be able to concentrate on Breaking Bad or True Detective (yes, season one) or The Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt.
It’s the same with women.
Don’t let the bad ones spoil your appreciation and love for women in general.
Women are more transparent by their speech – if they sh*t talk men, or other women early on when you meet them – you have to decide if you want this flow of negativity in your life. No matter what she looks like.
If she cancels on you last minute and doesn’t profusely apologize, walk on. She doesn’t value you and won’t value you.
If you trawl the bars and clubs, you’re less likely to meet the quality of woman who is doing a 10K run for leukemia, or volunteering at the animal shelter, or building schools in India, or mentoring girls, or building her own business.
Go where the fishing is good.
And in your conversation and online profile, use bait that attracts in women who are loving, wholehearted, kind, thoughtful, passionate and good.
Here at The Higher Game, we LOVE women.
We love them for the way they love us (god help their souls). For their beauty and their softness and their sexiness. For the way they nurture each other and children and pets and their elders. We love them for their creativity and lightness, and daffiness and fierceness.
And when we come across a woman who is a flake or a tease or a money-grabber or just mean – we say to ourselves, “this one is on a longer journey of healing than others.”
And we bless her and wish her well.
We do this not for her, but for our own hearts as men, as warriors, as protectors, as lovers.
So we keep our hearts clean and whole and open and powerful and loving.
So when that astounding beauty who is a fountain of love and passion and laughter walks into our lives…
… she discovers a man who stands ready to meet her. Lead her. Love her. Inspire her. And walk her into her greater magnificence.
Do it for you.