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Guns, Blood, Dating and Anger at Women

Men are mad.

Well, young men are mad.

Specifically men who don’t have access to women.  Who don’t feel connected to them.  Who don’t feel attractive.  Who aren’t having sex with women. 

Older guys – bodies less drenched with testosterone – are a little more resigned than angry.  It’s one of the few gifts of age.

Men – often young but older too – troll and harass women online.

Call them b*tches and sl*ts and wh*res and c*nts. 

They send scalding and cruel messages on dating sites when women don’t reply to their emails – more than you might imagine.

And sometimes – again now in Oregon – they find guns and shoot people so they can finally feel important.  The shooter?  He said girls at school didn’t respond to him well, so…



I want to share a reminder…

We are here in my learning community because we LOVE women. 

We cherish them.

We delight in their delight.

We love making them laugh.

We love helping them break through their own limitations, as we break through our own.

We love making them come – over and over again.

We love their warm bodies.

We love their loving hearts.

We love them even when their own pain and wounds send up shields to us.

We love them right through their pain. 

Even when it feels like “rejection” to us.

Our hearts can remain wide open.

And our courage is deep.

Our boldness is infinite – if we choose to access it.

As men, our ability to open wider as love is available to us every single moment that we are breathing…

And we can choose to open wider over and over and over again…

Not just because that “gets us girls” (which it does)…

Not just because it makes us admirable and supremely attractive men (which it does)…

Not because it’s the “spiritual” thing to do (which it is)…

But when we open as love through our own pain – and through the pain of others –   that becomes who we are….

We BECOME ever-opening love.

Which is a helluva thing to be…

And we thereby CREATE our own lives – moment by moment – from that place of internally generated love.


No one can turn off your ability to love and bring laughter, intrigue, flirtation and depth except for you.

As an individual men.

At the wheel of your own ship.

We just keep on bringing it.

Night and day.

In joy and in grief.

Refusing to close our hearts.

Not mistaking women’s pain for our own limitations.

Not assuming that any woman or anyone owes us ANYTHING at all.

Even though we secretly wish they did.

You are the engine of your reality.

Only you.

Every day – you and I get to decide where we want to point that engine.

Into anger, blame or giving up. 

Or toward a deeper and wider and boundless love…

No matter what arises.

This is where true masculine power lies.

When we do this, we become the hope for humanity.

Men: I love your strength and your willingness to keep your engines burning and your nose pointed toward love.

I need you.  Women need you.

You need you.

Power on.



p.s. if you have thoughts about this – please write me personally at

Adam Gilad

A prolific author, speaker, screenwriter, film producer, mentor and coach, Adam Gilad lives to spark his readers, clients and audiences into creating a robust, daring and fearless life of love, adventure and nurturance. An Emmy Nominated Executive Producer, Adam’s award-winning films have appeared on USANetworks, Lifetime and TNT. He has authored over 20 television shows and teaches dating, intimacy and deep eros. Adam has authored countless audio trainings and written several books, specializing in learning the “language” of the other gender, cultivating a dance of the sexes rather than a “battle,” the play of sexual polarity as well as a determined fearlessness in self-awareness, self-evolution, global responsibility, compassion and forgiveness.