So I’m packing up for Vegas where about 50 men are flying from all over the world for our Boldness Code Impact Intensive…
And I want you to know something…
These weekend intensives are about more than being at ease and successful with women…
They are about more than learning how to access and express your inner confidence and essential goodness so that women can feel your actual power as a man, a leader, a caretaker, a sexual being…
They are about more than the brotherhood that you find when you discover that you are now hanging with a group of men who care fiercely about rising out of the half-sleep “settling” into which so many others sink…
And yes, even more than about Adam’s Angels, my beautiful band of women who work with you during the sessions, guide you and take you out to select lounges in the evening to meet women and try the grounded, direct, BOLD ways of being that we perfect in the workshop itself.
These weekends are about TRANSFORMATION.
That means you come in one way – and you leave a new man.
I’ve been spending weeks honing the exercises and structure of this coming weekend in Vegas and I wanted to share with you some of the Transformative Re-Frames that we’ll be working with.
Because if you are stuck in your old frames, stuck in your old way of thinking, you will never attain the escape velocity to break your old habits.
And you will remain stuck as what you’ve always been.
Power is growth.
Boldness is risk and breakthrough.
So here are 3 “Bold” Foundations we’ll be starting with when the guys come in Friday…
1: I Am 100% Worthy of Respect and Love
This may sound trite, but very few people, me included, actually feel this, when you dig deep inside. We all carry shame. We all think we should have achieved more by now. Or that we could be better people. Or that we should be more successful with women or financially.
We each know our individual dark secrets, and one of the scary things about intimacy is that you can’t hide your secrets for long.
Brene Brown, the great shame researcher, points out that because we feel secret shame, we are always trying to “fit in” rather than feeling as if we simply “belong.”’
The first is constant agony and anxiety. The second brings that easeful feeling of finally coming home.
But it is a huge relief when you can relax your shame and share your truths with someone safely and honestly.
And it begins with finally just accepting, owning and claiming your worth as a human being who – while not perfect – is on the journey, who can re-calibrate – and who has a good heart and who brings gifts.
That is enough to be worthy of respect and love.
And we build on THAT, not on shame.
2. I Love and Forgive myself
Now let’s step up self-acceptance to self-love.
My friend Kamal Ravikant wrote an amazing book called “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It” – which he created in the midst of a personal crash.
What Kamal realized is that you can CHOOSE to love yourself as is, just as the fixer upper that you are. And when you do, you tend to make better decisions for yourself.
Listen – you create your reality anyway. You might as well create a positive one that radiates love and good-will.
And to that, you need to forgive yourself. Over and over and over again.
In my recent How to Inspire Love home video course, I end on a module that is called “The Intimacy of Infinite Beginnings”
And by that I mean that if you are going to be in a love relationship of any kind, you must, must, must drop the past, drop the need to be right all the time, drop your shame at screwing up (because we all do), of being weak or dumb or awkward or wrong or uncaring at times…
… and begin again. Over and over.
It’s true in relationship, and it’s true for yourself.
You can’t live a Bold Life, if the past is strangling you, tied by a rope to your neck.
Boldness means the boldness of striking out afresh, dusting yourself off, licking your wounds and creating new beginnings. No matter what.
And we will learn practices together to release shame. Release the past. And start fresh, moment-by-moment.
I remember reading in Howard Schultz’s autobiography – the guy who founded and runs a little company called Starbucks – how he led a gazillion dollar initiative and lost it all, costing the company a fortune.
“Tactical mistake. Onward.”
This is one of the hallmarks of a Bold Man.
And it’s a skill we’ll be honing together this weekend together as a brotherhood of men.
3. I Am Choosy and I Choose (You)
The un-bold life is passive.
The un-bold life waits for the lottery to arrive, for a woman to make the first move, for “life” to get better.
The Bold Life is a life of ACTION. Of clean, clear DECISIONS. Of being the CHOOSER rather than the chosen.
One of the practices we will be perfecting over the weekend is to boldly vision exactly the life we love – with women, success and living our bold edge – and then taking real steps in the real world to start making that happen.
We are going to take steps together this weekend to not only embody the stance of the CHOOSER, but also we will learn how to bring that attitude into FORM by how we approach and interact with women.
When you approach women (and life) from the bold place of generosity of spirit, profound appreciation and non-attachment that we’ll be perfecting this weekend, you will naturally be perceived by women as the Chooser.
And they will hope that you choose them!
I stand and applaud the men flying into Vegas this weekend.
You are making a stand for your Bold Life, in brotherhood with other men who are not afraid to push through their fears, push through their limits and habits…
… a group of men who are saying firmly: this is my one life – and I’m going to live it BOLDLY!
I’ll keep you updated on how it’s going over the weekend.
Watch your emails.
And join us next time this summer for The Boldness Code Impact Edition.
p.s. if you missed the emails about it, here’s a description of what we’ll be doing: