Online Dating

Be The Leader Of Your Own Life

Adam Gilad
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No matter what anyone says in the moment, women want men they and other people admire.

See this poor example from one online profile:

“I cannot really evaluate myself…I know what I want from life, and it depends on the next two years if I get it or not. So if you can accept that I hope that I will hear from you.”

Yikes!  Really?  You have no self-knowledge?  This is man who is NOT in control of his life.  He’s hanging by a thread.  Dependent on the decisions of other men.

He has zero masculine attraction.

A lot of dating advisors tell men they need to display alpha tendencies.  The truth is not every man is an “alpha male” – the leader of his group of peers.

But he, you MUST be the leader of your own life.   You MUST know your direction.  You MUST know what you value.  You MUST be self-reflective and be able to self-correct without defensiveness or embarrassment on a dime.

This above guy can’t even take the leadership position of evaluating his own life, much less living it!

A child hopes.  A man plans. A man acts.  A man directs, adapts and steers.

Inspiring hope is a great thing, especially if you’re running for office.  But living off hope diminishes your masculinity and your appeal.

Language rule:  replace any time you use the word “hope” with “plan” — it’s a clue to how serious you are about accomplishing anything in life.  And how seriously women will take you

This above guy can’t articulate direction, internal power or the strength of an inner compass, which are — and as you will see this in later chapters — precisely the most IMPORTANT qualities women value in men!

Direction, purpose, high service inspires women to surrender to you, to trust you, to follow you.  Whatever you want to call it — it both triggers their instantaneous attraction and inspires their enduring devotion.

So pull out any indication that:

  1. You don’t know yourself.
  2. You are not living by your own lights
  3. That you are dependent on others for your direction
  4. That you feel powerless to create your life according to your deepest beliefs.

Women want to go on a ride with a man who is

fulfilled and seeking greater fulfillment.  Who

is up to something important with his life.

So find any ways you are articulating loss of direction, confusion, hopelessness — anything that suggests you are not steering your life somewhere appealing.

Discovering where you put yourself down or communicate despondence in any way — this is a great opportunity to see where you need to make changes in your life!

Make those changes in your life.  And begin by setting your honest intentions in your profile.  Even if you feel that you are not in control of your destiny now, if you lay down your highest intentions, the way in which you plan to stand as a real man in this world who makes a difference — you may find just the woman who will be inspired by and support that vision — and help you make that happen.

And THAT — that, in my book, is the very best kind of woman there is.

To learn how to become the leader of your life – and be able to demonstrate that quality to women, check out my program Instant Confidence With Women.

If you struggle to communicate your leadership in your online dating profile, then Deep Online Attraction is your solution.

Leave a comment below – I want to know what you think!

This post currently has 4 comments.

  1. jathan
    May 11, 2012

    After many years of struggling with the issue of self-direction I’m finally starting to experience the joy of living my own life. I’m seeing a profound truth unveil itself: In the long run it doesn’t matter if a woman is attracted to me. What matters is if I am attracted to myself. Everything else follows from that.

    Family relationships, friendships, work relationships and eventually romantic relationships – these are all important. But in order to have a high quality interpersonal dynamic, a man must first start with his relationship with himself.

    I don’t hear many dating gurus talk about this subject. Im glad are taking down that “fourth wall” Adam. Thank you for your thoughts today!

  2. George
    May 11, 2012


    I have had your book since its original release and it has helped me in so many ways! I always wondered if some of the things I learned as a Marine were going to carry over into the civilian world

    A few that come in mind when applying your blog:

    1) Know thyself and seek self improvement
    2) Bloom where you are planted
    3) Adapt and overcome

    It was a huge challenge to seperate myself from the Corps after 10 years, I was scared but I was living on the edge and following a dream

    Now, almost one year later I’m finishing an MBA and have the best life any man could ask for

    I tried all the pick-up alpha male stuff, and found that even though women were sleeping with me I could never keep them

    Your work helped me realize to be the true man inside!!

    Thanks again!!

  3. robert
    November 14, 2012

    How do I demonstrate these qualities when I am only in the process of pursuing my goals? How do I demonstrate that my outward financial situation, and the fact that I have to pursue education beyond the degree I already have on account of not getting hired off of my prior education, does not diminish my worth as a man?

    • Adam
      November 18, 2012

      You are very serious about your future and you are training yourself to be the optimal provider. That is a noble path. Much worse to “settle” beneath your capability level. Striving higher is attractive. Let your mindset catch up with your life.


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