“Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.”
– Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
Have you ever felt like that?
That you are “outside” of your life, looking in?
Have you had moments when you were on a date…
Everybody wants to be saved.
Whole religions are founded on the promise that you’ll be relieved of your misery by the actions of somebody else. Even somebody else who died a long time ago.
That’s how powerful our craving to be saved is.
Hey and good morning.
I’m writing to you from a little café in Hayes Valley in San Francisco.
About 70 men and women are flying in here this weekend to play, explore and break through obstacles at my intense (and fun) Attract-Connect-Inspire Workshop.
Men and women together.
Diving deep together.
Getting real and vulnerable – in ways you NEVER get to do out there in the “normal” world.
What a crazy idea, huh?
In his new book, Igniting Inspiration: A Persuasion Manual for Visionaries, founder of “Transformational Design,” John Marshall Roberts, offers a new paradigm for communicating — not from force or from manipulation — but from a place of mutual inspiration. In this dialogue John explains shared human perfection, the ground of successful communications in nothing less than love, how cynicism blocks evolution, the connection between inspiration and sustainability, the centrality of deep listening and clear intention,s and how all these things connect to genuine social and human transformation.
AG: John, in your book called, “Igniting Inspiration,” my favorite line was: “seeking to improve the world is a futile game built on a lie.” Yeah, I was really inspired when I read that.
JMR: To some extent it’s like the Zen masters when they would send a student off to solve a koan — they’d solve a riddle. The book itself is kind of a riddle using communication as a vehicle. It leads the readers to understand that their own quest to change the world is based on repressed feelings. And really, if they want to be transformative communicators or leaders they need to work through their own self. There is that line in it that says, “If you want to make the world a better place, fix yourself — then there will be one less scoundrel among us.”
For many years I struggled.
Struggle was my oxygen.
I married young, fairly penniless.
I fought my way through Hollywood, pitching movie after movie – tales of love and adventure and redemption.
Today is my birthday.
And the best gift I can imagine is not anything I can receive.
But the giving of the one I give to you in the very last line of this letter, below.
So I woke up early, wanting to share with you what’s on my mind.
It’s seductive, isn’t it?
The idea of being a “Master.”
In chess, you can become a Grandmaster.
In martial arts, you can become a Sensei.
In Academia, you can get your PhD.
But you can be a “master of love.
You can however be a master of two things, and these I bring to you daily.
(1) you can become a master of yourself
(2) You can become a master of dating, communication and relationship SKILLS
I’m sure you’re as heartsick as I am hearing about the 22 year old boy who murdered 7 people in Santa Barbara because he blamed the world for keeping him a virgin so far.
I’m sure you’re as disgusted.
And I’m sure you also recognize his pain – even as you find his response to his pain psychopathic.
Because we all know the pain of feeling “rejected.”
2013 Reading List
Daring Greatly, Brene Brown
Brene Brown has become a sensation since her uber-popular TED talk and for good reason. This book is an essential handbook on getting you off the hamster-wheel of trying to “win” in life or “prove” anything – and to live courageously, with gusto and a sense of adventure –and here’s the key – without shame.
Get the book HERE!