Create Safety To Help Your Woman Relax Into Her Beauty
Ask any group of men the last time they felt physically unsafe, and you’ll get a few who say within the last month, a few more for the last 6 months. Ask a group of women, and you’ll get almost every hand for that same 6 month period.
It is hard for men to understand that women, generally, operate in the world feeling fundamentally unsafe.
It is your duty, actually your privilege to provide safety for women – and as it happens, this is one of the most attractive things about you as a man.
When you give a woman the context of safety (emotional, physical, and yes, financial), she will be able to better relax and express herself as the fount of love she truly is – whether as an artistic creator, girlfriend, wife, nurturing mother or exquisite lover.
Before we get into ways in which you can make women feel safe, I want to say a world about this core: the feminine as a boundless fount of love. Keep an eye out for it, and praise her for every expression of love she evinces.
It may be a simple smile to a child, or a kind word to a server.
It may be an expression of beauty – and I try to remind men often that a woman’s desire to create beauty – whether on her body or in her home or in relationships – is an expression of her desire to give and create love in the world.
This is a sacred desire of hers and should never be denigrated. In fact, it should be consistently celebrated by you — at both the dating and relationship phase.
Here is a Practice for you: you can never go wrong by complimenting a woman on her evident “big heart”. If she tells a story about her work, family or even a pet (!) – if you can comment, “You really have a big, loving heart, don’t you?” You will rarely get a “no!” The more she feels acknowledged by you about her loving core, the more will be grateful and attracted to you.
When she feels safely acknowledged for her being a source of love, she will relax into you.
But before she can do that, she needs to trust you, and here’s where physical safety comes in. Here are some quick and easy ways to help make a woman feel safe, and allow her to relax and open into your strength.
1. When walking on a sidewalk, walk on the outside, closer to passing cars. It’s an old gentlemanly thing to do, back in the days of sloppy roads.
2. In fact, place yourself bodily between her and any “danger” including creepy guys, menacing guys, rumbling trucks, big dogs – no kidding, you’ll be amazed how deeply women will feel this subtle “protective” instinct in you.
3. Take her hand when stepping over a curb or while descending or ascending stairs.
4. Keep your word on the smallest commitments – call her when you say you will, and show up on time.
5. Have a Swiss Army knife and a flashlight handy wherever you go. Women may not like to have their personal problems “fixed” by you all the time, but their physical ones – they want their hero, and it’s you. (I keep them in my car. Leave the knife home on flights, but buy one “there” if you travel together.)
6. Get some training in boxing or the martial arts – chances are you’ll never have to actually use it, but it’s a turn on to a woman to know that you can handle yourself in a fight, especially to protect her and to know that you are ready to do so.
Those are the foundations of physical safety. You’ll notice keeping your word is on this list. That’s because true safety for a woman is found in your character.
More on that in other blogposts.
If you have thoughts on what makes a woman feel safe, please add to the comments section below…