Death by Phone – and How to Avoid It
Face the fact…
If you’re a guy over 40, you have double the dating pool. You can date your age or you can date younger.
So, with all these choices – and assuming that you’ve got your head on straight, your confidence in line, and your optimism working reliably, here are some tips that will get you ahead – both online and off-line, and especially also with younger women.
I can guarantee you, that if you are new on the dating scene, or if you have had bad luck until now, because you hadn’t acquired the kind of skills in my book –Instant Confidence with Women – you can and will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
I am living proof of this, and I’ve seen it happen with men over and over and over again. In the realm of attraction and dating, practice does make perfect, or at least close to perfect.
Just keep at it. Do not give up. Learn your lessons. Note that you will be rejected from time to time. And get on with it, like a happy child who falls, brushes off his knees, and gets right back into the game.
We’re not talking warfare here, we are talking about having fun, meeting women, and experiencing life in all its joys and fullness. Promise me you won’t take yourself too seriously – and just get out there and use these tips and techniques, and have fun.
Today – I want to warn you about the phone. The phone for men is an extension of our business life, and we like to get business done. But for women, particularly younger women who simply don’t have that much on their plate yet, it is an extension of their social reality. They could talk to you for hours.
Remember – women are waiting for you to make their lives more fun.
Vet her before you meet. Go from online contact to maybe a short IM to the telephone and then quickly to a first meeting. The rule is, one or two IMs at best and get to the phone. Otherwise, you become a desexualized pen pal.
Once you’re on the phone, the trick is to keep the call short. So much sexual tension can be dissipated by phone when you don’t know each other. It happens way too often that you’re both being polite and essentially sexless on the phone.
And if you want to play a little edgy and sexy, it doesn’t always come across on the phone as fun and playful. It can come off as creepy. She doesn’t know you yet and she can’t see you, so you can’t really be your full self.
Sometimes of course, you will find a girl who is happy to play edgy and sexy on the phone, in which case, go with it.
So, with the caveat that you have to jump into a meeting soon but really wanted to “connect” with her, speak for a short while. It is a great idea to preface the call with this. “I’m so glad I got you. I have a call in 20 minutes, but I really wanted to connect.”
Women disclose a lot quickly. If she talks 90% of the time and doesn’t ask you a question, or seems self-doubting or overly aggressive or mean and bitter — you know you don’t need to meet, and you can cancel. You don’t have a lot of time to waste and you owe NOTHING to someone you haven’t met.
Use your online and phone contacts to weed out the unpromising ones. Bad dates with women who you feel ahead of time might be trouble, bitter, ball-busting etc. not only wastes your time – it also tends to get men down. It tends to give you the illusion that dating sucks or it’s hopeless.
Best to avoid a bad date altogether. Play the phone right, and you’ll save a lot of heartache, time AND money!