Approach

How To Talk & Flirt With A Beautiful Woman

Adam Gilad
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What is beauty?

Before we even get into how to “talk to a beautiful women” we need to decide what beauty is in the first place.

Is beauty truly in the eye of the beholder?  Of course, and if you remember the children’s book, ”My Mother Is The Most Beautiful Woman in the World” – it was about a lost little Chinese girl who tells her rescuers to identify her mother that way: “she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.” Her mother, when they are reunited, turns out to be a snaggle-toothed, wrinkled old marketmonger, but to the girl – beauty extraordinaire.

So when you love someone, you see their beauty.  And thank the gods for that, because surface beauty fades, yet inner beauty simmers and blossoms over time.

That is the beauty of knowledge, of intimacy, of love.

Physical beauty is about one thing: reproduction.  The call of the flower to the bee, of the female dung beetle to the male, the cheerleader in her short skirts and trim legs to the athlete male.

Whether it’s her shiny hair, her blushed cheeks or be—mascara’d, child-like eyes – she is bespeaking reproductive health, and whatever you THINK attracts you to women in the street – that’s what it is – the stealthy private call of your selfish genes, calling each to each.

In the primeval marketplace where we all live dumbly and passionately, she offers reproductive ability, you offer resources.

So you must answer youthful fertile glow with resource. This does not have to be Ferrari.  Far from it.  It could be a simple gesture, the classic, “Allow me” – and the lighter is there before her cigarette is out.  Boom.  Resource.

Resource can be information, help.  It can be directions.  It could be an opened door, picking up a tab (although today, this can also be read as submission – don’t EVER buy a drink for a woman who asks you to buy a drink – it MUST come as an offering from you.

But here’s what I want you to know:  your ability to offer resources can be something as simple as a smart-ass comment – showing that you are independent of mind.  A funny comment – showing that you have a flexible mind.   And few things are more valuable in today’s economy than a flexible mind.  Even an educated comment.  I have seen a simple quoting of poetry turn a woman’s mind to loving mush.

How do you talk to a beautiful woman.  You don’t beg.  You don’t ask.  You don’t ask her incessant questions.  Your counterpart to her beauty is your offhand, indifferent (and yet protective) offering of value, of resources – whether mental, emotional, physical informational or actual.

There is a magnificent short poem by the Sufi poet, Hafiz, who writes, to me of the core of the masculine, in his case, writing of the divine masculine.  It is this:

Even after all this time

The sun never says to the Earth

“You owe me”

It just shines.

In that is the core of the most powerful masculine position you can take in response to beauty.  And the kind of positioning to which beautiful women deeply respond.

How to Flirt With a Beautiful Woman

Have you ever sat with a beautiful woman, flipping through the notes she gets to her online profiles?  It’s DEPRESSING!

Firstly, almost every man says the same thing.  “You’re the most beautiful woman here…”  or “I like your profile, check mine out.” Or…

It’s too painful to go on.  Painful because when you’re a beauty, you get the same exact comment over and over and over again.  They get it online, and they get it offline.

The difference, as I’ve discovered doing my very difficult research interviewing Playboy and lingerie models and beauty contest winners for my program, “How to Talk To A Beautiful Woman” – in person, you can get away with a solid compliment if its offered with real appreciation.

“What a beautiful smile,” or “I love your look”  or “Killer shoes” – these simple words of appreciation without smarm or overselling will often catch a woman’s attention and open a conversation perfectly.

If you’re young and you want to flirt, the and if she seems playful, you immediately flip it around and take on the role of the “hotter one.”  …

“Of course, you’re not as hot as me, but I’m sure you’ll be able to get used it over the years.”  You can add something like, “and of course our kids will have the benefit of both of us.”

That kind of comment is definitely what the Brits call, “cheeky.”

It is a combination of daring and humor on the one hand, and on a deeper level, scrambles the female brain a bit by conjuring up what females have evolved to want more than almost anything else:  a secure future with a man who stays around.

So there is hidden romance in it as well.

There’s another approach here, less cheeky, for a woman you might really want to bond with on a deeper level.   As you know, I am an advocate of going deep, fast – of leading her deeper with a display of true insight and the confidence to communicate it.

If you say, “I like your look,” – when she says thank you  – you then lead her through a “tour” of what you see.   Now, this takes practice, it takes truly observing a woman and essaying to feel who she is and how she is presenting herself, and it takes balls.  The way her bobbed hair draws the eye to her high cheekbones.  “The way your eyeliner brings out that exotic pull of your eyes.”  Look at the way her clothes hang, is she wrapped like a present?  Does the color of her blouse or jewelry bring out the color of her eyes?  Can she not help showing those amazing arms or slender shoulders?

Inside every observation is a hidden compliment.  But rather than just compliment her, you are leading, by letting her know that you know what she is up to.

Now you are inside her mind and in her secret club.

To avoid becoming her “girlfriend,” toast her, or lean in and whisper in her ear, “it’s working,”

Then name your kid after me.

This post currently has 2 comments.

  1. sagar
    October 24, 2012

    Great article..It doesn’t talk about jumping the sack with a pretty girl,but how to actually woo them..Awesome!!

      Reply
  2. Steven
    October 24, 2012

    🙂 Adam….your stuff is sooo good! Brilliant! Thank you, Steven.

      Reply

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