Noticing Her Is Erotic

Adam Gilad
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This one is easy, guys.

If you want to create an environment of erotic charge – don’t focus so much on the perfect restaurant, the cliché roses, the horse and carriage.

Those are all nice, yes, but if you REALLY want to create an erotic soup in which she and you will swim – focus on HER.

Notice her.

Notice her earrings.  Especially if they match her eyes (or if anything else matches her eyes).

A friend noticed that his cute dentist was hot because her air conditioning was out, so as the novocaine wore off, he went to CVS and bought her two big fans and returned with a cute note.

Um – he didn’t even have to suggest the date.  She did!

And when you are online dating – pay attention to those little clues about who she is.

One of my coaching clients told me during one of our Boldness Code Weekends that he met a girl named “BellaStella” on

I told him, great!  Pay attention – bella stella means “beautiful star” – so take her to the highest rooftop restaurant in town because you wanted this beautiful star to be close to all the other beautiful stars.

Cheesy?  Said in a leisure suit, yes!  But otherwise, it’s romantic and THOUGHTFUL.  Because you thought about her, you gave her your attention and your presence and you CREATED something to give her pleasure.

And THAT, my man, is the heart of eros.

Pay attention – and create from her hints and details.

She provides the materials.

You be the artist of her imagination.

In bed.

And also, before and after.

This post currently has 2 comments.

  1. Anand
    November 28, 2012

    “She provides the materials… You be the artist of her imagination.” Very Nice, Adam, I like it!

  2. Haydn
    November 28, 2012

    It was either Groucho Marx or Learner & Lowe who said “Scratch the surface of any woman and she’ll probably enjoy it.” It sounds almost like like Taylorism, but almost anything you do to a woman works because it is attention.

    Since Men’s definition of good sex (“it is sex, therefore it is good”) is so trivial, the only meaningful definition of good sex “something women want more of”. If you can establish an unbroken virtuous cycle, next times foreplay is this time’s afterplay.


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