Weekend Wisdom

Weekend Wisdom #3: The Strategy Is Love…

Adam Gilad
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I woke up this morning with a sad thought that was – at the same time – a thrilling thought…

You, me, all of us — we are Ferraris of love, but we sputter along, wanly half-combusting like rickety Yugos.

We allow our days to click by in petty distraction, half-hearted effort, in bills and show and small-talk and excuses and unoffered affection.

We are Great Fusion Generators of Love, but as we walk the sidewalks, eyes searching; as we tread our offices, hands full; as we drive here and there, sealed by metal and glass into our secret hopes — we dare spark only specks of the love of which we are capable, husking our grandest dreams in shame.

Listen…

You know this to be true…

The hard animal of your body yearns to press into the soft animal of hers…

To awaken in the morning…

To rest your ear between her pliant breasts and hear her heart thumping life into your skull like a giddy idea…

And into that steady Taiko sweetness, you want to whisper back, “yes” and clasp her closer still.

You know this to be true.

That there is no shame in love.

Think about it…

If a face can launch a thousand ships, what might a woman’s soft belly against your cheek, the swooping hull of her hips under your fingers, her gentle rises and gullies under your lips – what might these inspire in you?

Listen…

We set our bars too low…

We sneakily shorten the baselines when the lights go down. We lower the rim to 7 feet so we can imagine our little slam-dunks are glorious victories.

We tangle ourselves in workaday tactics to feel okay about ourselves, to get through the day…

We ask… how can I make more money? What can I do to rise in my organization?

And we ask how do I get that woman to pay attention to me…

Which is more like, “how can I get that magnificent live, flowing, liquid sculpture of sudden dimples, sodden lips, aromatic neck, silken arms and simmering, molten passion wrapped in that strapless black dress to just pay attention to me?”

Too low, boys.

Why set your eyes on dwarfed victories. Just to get her to “pay attention?” A kiss? A phone number? Mere acceptance?

Is that really all you want?

We inch down the gridiron, clawing forward one blade of grass at a time…

We blinder ourselves with lower gear comfort, one calculated tactic-click at a time.

Yes, tactics can help…

But the strategy is love.

You are selling yourself short.

Think about it…

Imagine her for a moment…

When she returns to her place alone at night again, still redolent of hope’s perfume on the nape of her neck again, as she sadly turns the key in her front door latch again, trudges across her floor again, drops her clothes on the bathroom rug again, showers alone again, body-washes her tender skin again, slips into something satin and climbs into her cold, lonely bed again….

When a woman has collided with your and every man’s tactics all night again, half-hearted intrusions like dulled spears again, buffeted by your empty, sex-hungry eyes again…

… what do you think she yearns for?

Another brittle man of tactics?

No.

She yearns to wrap her arms around your chest and weep in gratitude, in relief at being bathed in your love…

She yearns to finally let go and be carried like a rag-doll on the big wave of your love…

She yearns to be ravished back to liquid in the unbreakable embrace of your love.

She yearns for you…

Undistracted.

After you’ve shed your calculating tactics like a clattering cloak.

You.

Naked. Unhidden. Unguarded. Fully offered. Everything you’ve got.

So she can give you everything she’s got.

To quote one of my favorite lines from Entourage, – “is that something you might be interested in?”

Today, in the quiet of this moment, as you sit hear reading, I ask you…

How much love can you offer?

How thoroughly can you clear the fear-gunk from your Ferrari engine and love at full-throttle?

When that sexy devil in a blue dress sees you from across the room…

… laughing with your friends

… engaging that old gent at the end of bar who just wants to talk

… grabbing a door for that woman you don’t even know

… what will she feel about you?

When you stop to rustle the neck-fur of that anxious dog leashed to the parking meter…

When you stand for justice – whether on a global scale or simply stopping your buddy from being an asshole – and do it from love…

… what will she feel about you?

When you devote yourself – from love – to your art, your ambitions, your goals and do something admirable in the world…

When you are the man who gathers friends, who owns his authority, who makes the effort to introduce, to help, to give resources, to be the bringer of bounty rather than to try to suck up attention….

… what will she feel about you?

When you, in relationship with your woman, feel the heat of battle coming on – and you deflect the coming carnage by gently, firmly bringing her back to love…

… what will she feel about you?

Take this day to see beyond tactics…

Remember, raise your eyes.

The strategy is love.

On your grand quest for extraordinary women in your life – the tactics, the words, the body language – that’s all scaffolding to get you off the ground…

… but the goal is to soar.

In an early dating profile, I wrote, “Love isn’t a piece of pie. Love IS the pie.”

You can’t slice off a piece of your life for intimacy and hope a woman will surrender her heart’s devotional fire to you.

You give love freely. Fully. Generously. Creatively. Moment-by-moment.

So I ask you…

Why settle for a peckish kiss at the end of evening, when you can smelt your hearts into lava?

Why settle for acceptance when you can shimmer in her devotion?

Why settle for feel-good when you can shoot for conjoined bliss?

I want you to give all you’ve got…

I want you to unleash your woman’s passion, and be ready to receive all she’s got.

I want you to (re)discover the bottomless wells of your love.

Screw what the callow say, there is no shame in being a loving man.

There is no shame in offering your wounded heart to a worthy woman to tend and soothe.

There is no shame in being the sun that burns love outward without the demand of payment.

Because…

Women are SUFFERING.

They are suffering because you keep your best self hidden.

Today – take a break from the ratchet-tic life of tactics and calculations.

Today – allow yourself to love without bounds.

Today – emblazon the world with your unbidden love.

Offer the POWER of your love like a man who knows he can give and give and give – and not diminish his stores by a drop.

Take the world into your arms, as one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver says, in her poem, “When Death Comes…”

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

Today…

Raise the rim high…

Pedal to the metal…

And see just what you, a man, thrumming with love at full throttle, are capable of…

To Your Best Life [And To The Extraordinary Women You Will Attract]

Adam

This post currently has one comment.

  1. Todd
    May 13, 2012

    Dang! How your words express my thoughts better than I. Thanks for helping clear away the sleep-gunk from my recently awakened eyes. Go BIG or go home.

      Reply

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